If I could only go back to those days... The days before all the heartache the days WITH Zoe. Life was great. Who knew what was to come.
15 years ago
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Zoe & Payten
You are an amazing husband and father...(Brett trying to hold our buisness together while our life is falling apart.) outside my hospital room.
Payten was in the Nicu for a little over 2 weeks. Brett would come down on the weekends to see us. I spent every waking hour with her at the hospital.
4 pounds 11 ounces / 4 pounds 15 1/2 ounces - May 30th 2007
Our {Beautiful} Twins
Zoe & Payten
Counting our Blessings Two by Two
A Thousand Words Can't Bring You Back,I Know Because We Tried. And Neither Can a Million Tears, I Know Because We Cried. A life so brief, A child so small, you had the power to touch us all. An Angel with the book of life wrote down my baby's birth, and whispered as she closed the book, "too beautiful for earth"
Our story
Kissing my "twins" for the last time
"For almost nine months we waited for you...Dreaming, and planning and shopping, too.We looked forward to that special dayWhen we could bundle you up and carry you away.But we had to say goodbye before saying hello-Letting go of our dreams of watching you grow.Then somehow through the pain and tearsYour spirit came and calmed our fears.We had never felt such pure love and graceAs we held you in our arms and kissed your sweet face.Now in your strong arms you'll carry us throughUntil that beautiful day when we again hold you.We will feel such joy as we look in your eyes,That love and laughter will replace our cries.And together we'll kneel at Our Savior's feet,Knowing at last that our family's complete."
The day of Zoe"s services.
You are an amazing husband and father...(Brett trying to hold our buisness together while our life is falling apart.) outside my hospital room.
Brett and Payten
Payten was in the Nicu for a little over 2 weeks. Brett would come down on the weekends to see us. I spent every waking hour with her at the hospital.
Zoe"s hand
Zoe"s precious little foot
Goodbye my love, my angel.
Angel Mom's
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7 years ago
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14 years ago
PLEASE
PLEASE don’t ask me if I’m over it yet.I’ll never be over it.PLEASE don’t tell me she’s in a better place.She isn’t here with me.PLEASE don’t say at lease she isn’t suffering.I wish she hadn’t suffered at all.PLEASE don’t tell me you know how I feel unless you have lost a child yourself.PLEASE don’t ask me if I feel better.Bereavement isn’t a condition that clears up.PLEASE don’t tell me I’m lucky to have Payten, I KNOW that.PLEASE don’t tell me God never gives us more than we can bear, I already KNOW that too.PLEASE just say you are sorry.PLEASE just let me talk about her.PLEASE just mention her name.PLEASE just say you will remember her.
PLEASE don’t ask me if I’m over it yet.I’ll never be over it.PLEASE don’t tell me she’s in a better place.She isn’t here with me.PLEASE don’t say at lease she isn’t suffering.I wish she hadn’t suffered at all.PLEASE don’t tell me you know how I feel unless you have lost a child yourself.PLEASE don’t ask me if I feel better.Bereavement isn’t a condition that clears up.PLEASE don’t tell me I’m lucky to have Payten, I KNOW that.PLEASE don’t tell me God never gives us more than we can bear, I already KNOW that too.PLEASE just say you are sorry.PLEASE just let me talk about her.PLEASE just mention her name.PLEASE just say you will remember her.
What Makes A Mother?
I thought of you and closed my eyes; and prayed to God today.
I asked, "What makes a Mother?", and I know I heard him say....
A Mother has a baby, this we know is true. But God can you be a Mother, when your baby's not with you?
"Yes you can!", He replied with confidence in his voice.
"I give many women babies, when they leave is not their choice. Some I send for a lifetime; and others for a day- And some I send to feel your womb, but there's no need to stay."
"I just don't understand this God, I want my baby here."
He took a breath and cleared his throat; and then I saw a tear. I wish I could show you, what your child is doing today. If you could see your child smile with other kids and say,"We go to earth to learn our lessons of Love and Life and Fear, My Mommy Loved me oh so much, I got to come straight here..
I feel so lucky to have a Mom, who had so much love for me.
I learned my lesson very quickly, My mommy set me free. '
I miss my Mommy, oh so much but I visit her each day...
when she goes to sleep, on her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek; and whisper in her ear,
"Mommy, don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here."
So you see my dear sweet one, your child is okay.
Your baby is here in my home; And this is where he'll stay.
He will wait for you with me, until your lesson is through.
And on the day that you come home; he'll be at the gates for you.
So, now you see what makes a Mother, it's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of; right from the very start.
By Jennifer Wasik.
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